Relations, Relationships and Recovery...

To live is to suffer...

2010-03-27T07:29:00.002-04:00

So, I'm perplexed with how some women (made special efforts not to make sweeping generalizations) can without hesitation say that they don't like to be lied to, but do not think that lies by omission are somehow exempt on their part. A lie is a lie, is a lie! or so says my mother. If someone states that "I only tell people what I think they need to hear", doesn't that suggest that omission of key facts in any form is not telling the entire truth. With that, is it a lie tell someone a major part of the truth, but leave out small facts - or vice versa - that give the truth substance? Is there any justification for it?

It takes time...

2010-03-17T14:29:00.003-04:00

So, I was up late last night watching one of my favorite shows, Criminal Minds, and the quote at the end of the show stuck out to me like a sore thumb. It might be one of the most relevant quotes in my life as any before. Written by Rose Kennedy (for those of you who don't know she is the mother of President John F. Kennedy) the quote was more than insightful, it was poignant and relevant. Kennedy states, "It has been said, 'time heals all wounds.' I do not agree. The wounds remain. In time, the mind, protecting its sanity, covers them with scar tissue and the pain lessens. But it is never gone." Though it is not incredibly riveting in its delivery, it just hit me like a ton of bricks. So, how does it strike you? Let me know...

Something new...

2010-03-09T12:29:00.003-05:00

Okay, so I haven't posted since July, but I've been busy. I'm in grad school for Christ's sake. So, I'm almost done and I'm about to embark on yet another journey, and at the tender new age of 30. I'm moving back to Nashville, but after I get my bearings together there is no telling where I will end up. I've grown tired of the same ol' sh*t and I must say something new sounds like the right thing to do. Maybe I'll move to Europe for a year or take a very extended vacation in the Caribbean, whatever the adventure I'm hoping to step way outside the comfort zone on this one. What do you think?

Starting from scratch...

2009-07-26T22:55:00.002-04:00

So, now I'm in the situation of having ended a long and arduous relationship that probably would have benefitted greatly from having deteriorated in the earlier stages of its existence. Be that as it may, it's over and I'm left with the task of starting from scratch and let me tell you it is not at all easy. I mean, the transition from back and forth emotions with one person for so long and then the end of that rollercoaster leaves you with an uncanny ability of not know which way is up sometimes. Honestly, how do I start over and how do I repair my heart and allow someone else to hold on to it?

Let's see what the Bible says...

2009-07-17T14:40:00.000-04:00

^{Proverbs 5: 3-10

3} For the lips of an immoral woman drip honey,
And her mouth is smoother than oil;
⁴ But in the end she is bitter as wormwood,
Sharp as a two-edged sword.
⁵ Her feet go down to death,
Her steps lay hold of hell.
⁶ Lest you ponder her path of life—
Her ways are unstable;
You do not know them.
⁷ Therefore hear me now, my children,
And do not depart from the words of my mouth.
⁸ Remove your way far from her,
And do not go near the door of her house,
⁹ Lest you give your honor to others,
And your years to the cruel one;
¹⁰ Lest aliens be filled with your wealth,
And your labors go to the house of a foreigner

Any thoughts...

I got a secret, I got a secret...

2009-07-13T14:47:00.002-04:00

I've been caught in that position, as I'm sure most people have, of having information that is important to a friend's relationship, but you're stuck with the question of whether it's a good idea to tell or hold your peace. On one hand, I clearly saw my friend's girlfriend out with another guy, but without knowing any details, I spilled the beans to my friend and ultimately lost a friend. On the other hand, If he would have found out from another source and also found out that I knew about the situation, then I would have lost him anyway. Catch-22!!! So, should you keep it to yourself and let the poor sap put 2 and 2 together and hope he makes 4 or do you tell with the understanding that your friend may not like what they hear? Spell it out for me...

Sometimes I don't get it...

2009-07-09T07:48:00.003-04:00

I mean really, sometimes I can't wrap my head around this whole love thing. I hate looking at statistics that suggest that married men are happier than singles or married men live longer, but in my opinion I think married men have learned to suffer in silence. It's not necessarily true that they are indeed happier, but seems like what they are taught to say just to keep the peace and in terms of living longer, you can have it if the alternative is dealing with someone unreasonable, unreliable and unrelenting. Don't get me wrong, the thought of love sometimes makes me feel like there's a purpose to this whole relationship thing, but when I think of the process that it takes to get there I think "lonely is the only other company." Is it really worth it? Enlighten me...

You have nothing to fear...

2009-07-03T13:48:00.002-04:00

So, there is simply one thing that I have to say about relationships. If you fear what comes in relationships there is definitely nothing that you can get out of them. Personally, I have a fear of giving too much of myself in a relationship and then follows that great thing called rejection. Rejection keeps fears at the forefront of all relationships. I've been rejected a few times in my life and I would have to say that it bites. Question: What is the one thing that you fear by giving of yourself? Please share...

I now pronounce you....

2009-06-29T07:56:00.004-04:00

Marriage, in my opinion, is the one contract that people in these days and times do not honor and has become more a part of the legal system than that of the spiritual. Marriage is seen as an easy way to get a tax write-off than a way to become closer to what God has for the two that are united as one. With that being said I ask this question: Is there hope for marriage in today's society to truly survive? Why has marriage not worked for those now 50 some odd percent of people that have to endure the wrenching emotional turmoil of divorce and separation? Speak up... (R.I.P. MJ)

Open for business...

2009-06-24T07:50:00.003-04:00

Okay, so let's move into the issue of the new and exciting trend of open relationships. Personally, I've never been in an open relationship and can't actually say that I would want to. To my understanding open relationships, or open marriages, are not those that suggest that each party is just open and honest with each other with full disclosure. You wish!!! These are relationships where each party is free to date and do other things outside of the relationship with an understanding that there is still a commitment to your boyfriend/girlfriend or husband/wife. Question: Is this really a feasible option that can truly be accomplished or is it simply an excuse for both parties to find another way to deal with their commitment issues? Would you be 'open' to the possibility of you and your mate engaging in such a relationship? Help me out...

Forgive and forget...

2009-06-22T22:02:00.002-04:00

I often find it very difficult to forget those things for which I have forgiven. I mean it's not the easiest thing to forgive someone for holding your heart in their hands and then watch them piss on it. Okay, maybe a little graphic, but you get the point. My question: Do humans really have the capacity to totally, unequivocally forgive someone for the pain and anguish that they've caused you? Does true human nature allow make it harder to forgive and easier to just simply forget, which consequently prevents you from ever feeling whole in a relationship? Talk to me folks....

Liar, liar pants on fire...

2009-06-20T20:58:00.004-04:00

Okay, so let me go ahead and say that I've told my fair share of lies in my relationships and I have found myself, as I'm sure many others have, justifying those lies as sparing one's feelings, protecting one from the truth or trying to cover my own ass. That being said, is there any situation that a lie could truly be the right thing to do? If so, let us all know the situation you were in that may have justified it or the scenario that makes it so... Paint a pretty picture...

Complications...

2009-06-18T22:06:00.002-04:00

Why is it so difficult for people in a difficult situation to simply end that relationship? Do you stay trying to save the relationship or does the respect of yourself trump that all together? Talk to me people...

Games...

2009-06-18T08:20:00.000-04:00

One of my biggest issues is the games people play. Both women and men. So, why is it that people can't just be straight up with one another? Holla at me...