Sunday, July 26, 2009
Starting from scratch...
So, now I'm in the situation of having ended a long and arduous relationship that probably would have benefitted greatly from having deteriorated in the earlier stages of its existence. Be that as it may, it's over and I'm left with the task of starting from scratch and let me tell you it is not at all easy. I mean, the transition from back and forth emotions with one person for so long and then the end of that rollercoaster leaves you with an uncanny ability of not know which way is up sometimes. Honestly, how do I start over and how do I repair my heart and allow someone else to hold on to it?
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at this point, you have to go through a healing process. there's a wise saying that says "it takes half the amount of time you were with someone to fully recover"...don't really know how true that is, but it does makes sense to me. my suggestion would be to let the healing begin. that means, going on with life, cry when it hurts (if it does hurt), talk to a non-judgemental someone about the relationship, realize your OWN fault in the relationship, gather lessons learned, and scratch off those things from that relationship that you will not deal with in the next. in the meantime, go light on the dating, and when the right one comes along, you will know.
ReplyDeleteOkay, Bernarda, that makes a tremendous amount of sense... For some reason I get to a point where it seems like I'm as timid and shy as I use to be in high school with regards to approaching women, as well as, becoming a little cold because of the most recent loss of love. I agree wholeheartedly with the wise words, although, I don't know if I can make it as long as that would entail. So what would you say to someone who doesn't want to go about choosing the same person over and over again? That seems to be my MO...
ReplyDeleteWow...look at what you wrote: "For some reason I get to a point where it seems like I'm as timid and shy as I use to be in high school with regards to approaching women, as well as, becoming a little cold because of the most recent loss of love..." This is the exact reason why you need to heal. You reacting this way because you haven't gotten over it--and you shouldn't be over it--it just happened.
ReplyDeleteI think that saying about half the amt of time is relative. Everyone wants a timeframe on pain, but if you really want to get over it, then be proactive about understanding what went wrong. Hey, I believe in talking to people.
What I would say to someone who doesn't want to make the same mistake twice: A fool does the same thing expecting different results.
Try to date outside of your preference. I think situations like these are blessings for men. This is the perfect time to date someone who is outside of what you will prefer. When a man's heart is wounded, they tend to put all preferences aside and look beyond surface preferences when it comes to dating women while healing. It's an awesome experience from what I understand because you end up realizing things you would have never known you liked in a woman. More importantly you find out things about yourself that you need a woman to compliment.