Monday, June 22, 2009
Forgive and forget...
I often find it very difficult to forget those things for which I have forgiven. I mean it's not the easiest thing to forgive someone for holding your heart in their hands and then watch them piss on it. Okay, maybe a little graphic, but you get the point. My question: Do humans really have the capacity to totally, unequivocally forgive someone for the pain and anguish that they've caused you? Does true human nature allow make it harder to forgive and easier to just simply forget, which consequently prevents you from ever feeling whole in a relationship? Talk to me folks....
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
This is a very interesting topic. Forgiveness is very powerful. I think Tyler Perry said it best in one of his plays. He said that when you don’t forgive, you allow someone else to have power over you. You allow that person to control your emotions. From past experiences, I have discovered that heartbreaks caused by relationships are not easily forgivable. You sometimes find yourself regretting ever getting involved in the relationship. But what is life without love… I feel that we should learn from failed relationships and try love again and again until we get it right. However, I think that you should never forget…
ReplyDeleteYou also mentioned something about being whole in relationships. Being whole really depends on both persons in a relationship. I think each person needs to become a whole person, meaning each person is responsible for being happy and whole. Many relationships fail because people are looking for another person to make them whole.
To answer your first question about total forgiveness, I feel that you can totally forgive someone but it definitely will take time to move past it . The time that you will need to move past the event is the most critical time. What I find is people will say they will forgive somethings, but yet they will unintentionally keep bringing the problem to the surface. This makes it harder on the person asking for fogiveness and more stressful on the person doing the forgiving.
ReplyDeleteTo answer the second question, its never easy to forget something that causes you pain because someone or something ELSE can unknowingly act as a trigger to set off the emotion once again. I feel you will always remember but its all in how you act on it. Some people hold on to these emotions which they once felt in the particular relationship . By holding on to all of the PAST problems, it brings up another set of issues in FUTURE relationships.
Overall, I feel that if you want to move on you have to learn to let go of all that which caused you harm, pain or grief . After letting it go, then you can move on. But most importantly, you should never go into a relationship looking for some one to complete you…You need to BE the complete package and the other person should be there to give all the EXTRA stuff i.e love and support.